Thursday, 14 April 2011

11:53 am: for a greater purpose

Well perhaps I've held on for too long, the thought that things would go back to how it once were was merely just something that'd never happen. Well, at least my instincts tells me so. So tired of putting on a facade, pretending everything's okay and everything's working out fine; I'd make a fool out of myself. I have to really let go, move on, and go my own way. Well, one thing I'd regret is ever coming so close to you. I get nothing but scars, betrayal, being backstabbed, left out, used..... I really wished I never met you. Cause all you bring is pain, tears, frustration, sorrow, bitterness, hurt and the list goes on. Sometimes I question God, why did he even allow all these to happen if he could foresee the future? Why does he allow his children whom he loves so dearly to face such situations which brings so much despair? Why does he want to drive me to such a state close to insanity when he knows that I'm that close to breaking down and collapsing? Why God? Why? I really wonder sometimes. I may not know what he has in mind for me now, in the future, but I know he loves me and has perfect plans for me.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I think that is all I need to know:) You know, at many times I had thoughts of taking revenge but I held back. For revenge belongs to God alone. I just believe God sees it all and will make everything work out for me in his time. I guess I'll just leave everything aside to God from now on. I mean if this is God's will and plan, there must be a bigger purpose behind all that has happened and I should learn to look at things in a more positive perspective and trust him in leading the way, in opening the doors, in going before me, in guiding the way, in his calling for a higher purpose, much much more higher than I would ever think of. For that, I'm certain. God will bring down the giants and I know I'll triumph over all of these in time to come.